The Problem with Descendants, Part 3

Hi all!

Welcome to the final part of my “slightly unhinged” summary of the Descendants movies on Disney+. I think, ultimately, these movies are a perfect example of a good idea gone wrong. There is so much that a movie can do with the children of villains, stuck together on an island where everything is horrible.

Just … it really shouldn’t be this.

Anyway, without further ado, here’s Part 3.

— So ... they’re picking kids from the Isle to go to Auradon. I’m just gonna say this now ... the twins can’t act. But it’s a pretty sweet scene, nonetheless

— Mal and Ben are getting married! And Audrey ... is horrified

— So. When they get the VKs (Villain Kids), Hades tries to slip through, and Mal has to fight him. Of course, Audrey also tries to turn it against her

— Hmm. Audrey’s grandma is no help. Due to her comments, and Audrey’s feelings, she turns into the evil version of herself: all her annoying qualities but on steroids, with a healthy dash of evil

— So. Mal votes to close the barrier ... and she’s not telling Evie. Didn’t she learn that keeping secrets wasn’t a good idea in the last movie?

— Audrey shows up and turns Mal into a hag.

— So ... they’re off to get Hades’ ember so they can reverse the staff’s curse. This is gonna go well

— Audrey shows up at Jane’s birthday and puts everyone to sleep except Jane, who hides in the Enchanted Lake. I knew I liked her!

— So. Mission outfits. I ... love them (and, according to a later scene, Evie designed them). And they get the key from Dr. Facilier, who’s about the only legacy character who’s still in character

— Hades’ lair. Kinda cool. Except ... why ride the stupid bike when you could just walk?

— Okay, never mind. This feels like a ripoff Disney theme park ride

— Oh, that crystal looks so STUPID in live-action

— So. Hades is Mal’s dad. Wow...

— The song is ... cringe. But Hades at least acts like himself. And he gives her the ember, so ... that’s something

— So ... Audrey’s a little freaky. Ben’s been spelled, people are now stone, and Uma’s back! This is definitely the twistiest plot in these movies

— And now Mal lies to Uma too about bringing VK kids over to Auradon. Mal, Mal, Mal. This is really gonna come back to bite you

— Uma and Mal are forced to work together so they can defeat the enchanted armor. The song ... isn’t the worst I’ve heard? But with this trilogy, that’s not saying much

— Huh. The guys are actually getting along. And it sounds like Gil and Jay could have fun adventuring together. Also ... what happened to Lonnie?

— True love’s kiss to break a spell. Again. But ... they’re bad guys (or former). Why do they believe that?

— So ... Ben gets turned into a Beast. And the Enchanted Lake water turns him back, courtesy of Jane. Also, have I mentioned that I love her and Carlos’ romance?

— Uma and Mal help free them with their magic working together. Yay for teamwork!

— Ship name on a necklace for Jane? Eh, it’s cute, so I’ll forgive it

— So. Mal reveals that she lied, and everyone turns on her. Then she sings ... I’ll admit it, basically the only song I like. Why? Actual. Character. Development

— Well, that forgiveness happens fast. I mean, Mal does take care of Evil Audrey, but ... shouldn’t they be more mad?

— Hades has a point. They really do only get a slap on the wrist if they’re good. But ... he also heals Audrey. And gives the ember back to Mal

— The barrier’s coming down! Yeah!

— The final dance scene is ... okay. Reunion stuff is great. And the last scene with the four of them ... yeah, that one works. It’s a little corny, but it works

There you have it. That’s it for the Descendants movies. I may do some more Disney+ live-action stuff in the future if I can make myself sit through it.

As always, if you want to find out more about me and what I write, you can visit my website, kirstenhardin.com. There’ll also be a place to subscribe down at the bottom of the post.

I can’t make any promises about when my next post will be out. Life has a way of getting busy, and I’m a student first and foremost. But whenever something does come out, anyone subscribed to this newsletter/following me on social media will be the first to know 😄.

Until next time,

Your fairytale enthusiast,

Kirsten Hardin